Separated Marriages and Families (Civilian)

“The Corporate Executive Wife’s Coping Patterns in Response to Routine

Husband-Father Absence,” by Pauline Grossenbacher-Boss, Hamilton

McCubbin, and Gary Lester.128

A pilot study examining the ways families and wives deal with work-related

separations.

“Commuting Married Faculty Women and the Traditional Academic Community,”

by Irving Allen and Jane Wilkie.129

Reviews the difficulties associated with women in academics and the choice

to maintain a long-distance marriage.

“Children’s Reactions to Temporary Loss of the Father,” by Frank Crumley

and Ronald Blumenthal.130

An older article that may be helpful to those with children.

“Ending the Commute: Communication Strategies of Couples During

Reintegration (Doctoral Thesis),” by Pamela Dunkin.131

A difficult to find source (write to the University of Oregon), but a good example

of the difficulties that come with reunion after an LDR.

“So Near Yet So Far: The Non-Resident Father,” by Carol Michaels.132

Aninteresting review, useful for those fathers involved in a separated marriage.

“Commuter Marriages: Personal, Family and Career Issues,” by Melissa

Groves and Diane Horm-Wingerd.43

A study of issues surrounding separated marriages including ways of coping

with the distance.

“. . . Until Careers Do Us Part: Vocational and Marital Satisfaction in the

Dual-Career Commuter Marriage,” by Kathrijn Govaerts and David Dixon.13

A nicely done study comparing dual-career couples who live together with

those that have geographically separated. Factors that predict satisfaction with the

relationship are also explored.

“Commuting,” by Agnes Farris.32

Asmaller study of intense interviews with couples in long-distance marriages.

Easy reading that may generate good conversation with your partner.

“Dual-Career Couples Who Live Apart: Two Types,” by Harriet Gross.133

Discusses the results of interviews with separated couples and compares

younger couples who are still adjusting to those who are more established.

“Commuter Marriage: Couples Who Live Apart,” by Naomi Gerstel and

Harriet Gross.134

A review of separated marriages with an entertaining description of the commuting

experience.

“Living Apart: A Comparison of Merchant Marine and Commuter Couples,”

by Naomi Gerstel and Harriet Gross.135

One of the very few articles looking at marriages separated for reasons other

than academic or military reasons.

“Commuter Marriages: AReview,” by Naomi Gerstel and Harriet Gross.34

Another good review from these two researchers.

“Two-Location Families: Married Singles,” by Betty Kirschner and

Laurel Walum.52

Adiscussion of separated marriages with a focus on how career development

issues now affect women’s decisions to undertake an LDR.

“Effects of Work-Related Separation on Children and Families,” by Chaya

Piotrkowski and Lisa Gornick.41

Areview of the literature examining the effect of work-related separations on

the family, along with a few hints on coping strategies.

“Marital Non-Cohabitation: Separation Does Not Make the Heart Grow

Fonder,” by Ronald Rindfuss and Elizabeth Stephen.1

A large intriguing study looking at census data to determine if couples living

apart later divorce. Unfortunately, the study cannot differentiate between marriages

that were physically separated because they were having relationship problems,

and those that were simply long-distance. The study’s conclusions, that LDRs are

associated with divorce, is likely a result of including many couples whose relationships

were already on the rocks.

“Attachment Theory as Applied to Wartime and Job-Related Marital Separation,”

by Julia Vormbrock.136

An outstanding, albeit technical, review of the process of attachment and separation

for marriages.

“Dual-Career Couples and Geographic Transfers: Executives’ Reactions to

Commuter Marriage and Attitude Toward the Move,” by Ann Taylor and John

Lounsbury.137

An interesting study designed primarily for executives and human relations

administrators, looking at how managers integrate issues of commuter marriage

into geographical transfer decisions.

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Miscellaneous Relationship Issues

A comparison of offline and online friendship qualities

 at different stages of development, by Chan DK, Cheng GH.179

Although not looking specifically at romantic relationships, this research suggests that relationships that develop entirely online have the potential for being relatively intimate.

The Psychology of Separation and Loss: Perspectives on Development, Life

Transitions, and Clinical Practice, by Jonathan Bloom-Feshbach, Sally Bloom-

Feshbach, and Associates.138

Although it does not focus on LDRs, this book provides a good framework

for understanding all sorts of various stresses related to separation.

“ ‘Secret Tests’ Social Strategies for Acquiring Information About the State

of the Relationship,” by Leslie Baxter and William Wilmot.139

A fascinating study of the ways people test their relationships. The article

briefly discusses how physical separation is sometimes used as a test to determine

the importance of the relationship.

“Separation as Support,” by Elizabeth Douvan and Joseph Pleck.31

An uplifting article focusing on the advantages of LDRs.

“Prisoner’s Families,” by Donald Schneller.140

Asomewhat older article examining the effect of prison separation on families.

“Flying Apart: Separation Distress in Female Flight Attendants,” by Jim

Jupp and Paul Mayne.141

Astudy of 36 flight attendants and how even short separations can cause problems,

especially during reunion.

“Doesn’t Anybody Stay in One Place Anymore? An Exploration of the

Under-Studied Phenomenon of Long-Distance Relationships,” by Mary E.

Rohlfing.174

An excellent review of the literature on long-distance romantic relationships

and long-distance friendships.

“Love at First Byte? Building Personal Relationships over Computer Networks,”

by Martin Lea and Russell Spears.173

This is a detailed but easily read review of relationships that take place predominantly

via the Internet. Probably the best place to start if you’re looking to

untangle the mysteries of online LDRs.

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Separated Students

“Relationship Maintenance of College Students Separated During Courtship,”

by David Carpenter and David Knox.17

A study that attempts to find out what factors help maintain college LDRs. I

discuss a couple of the issues with the study design earlier in the book, as I disagree

with some of their conclusions. They also report on some interesting gender

differences that may prompt discussion with your partner.

“Does Distance Make the Heart Grow Fonder? A Comparison of Long-

Distance and Geographically Close Dating Relationships,” by Mary Dellmann-

Jenkins, Teresa Bernard-Paolucci, and Beth Rushing.16

One of the larger studies of separated college students, and relatively well

designed.

“Long-Distance Romantic Relationships: Prevalence and Separation-

Related Symptoms in College Students,” by Gregory Guldner.2

The largest study of college students, designed to estimate how common

LDRs are in the college setting, and to quantify the types of stress and hassles related

to separation.

“Time Spent Together and Relationship Quality: Long-Distance Relationships

as a Test Case,” by Gregory Guldner.11

Another large study comparing relationship qualities of those in LDRs with

those in geographically close relationships.

“Long-Distance Romantic Relationships: Sex Differences in Adjustment and

Break-up,” by Vicki Helgeson.57

Astudy of 97 students in LDRs followed over three months focusing on gender

differences related to the separation. A useful addition to the dearth of quantitative

research on LDRs.

“The Effects of Self-Beliefs and Relationship Beliefs on Adjustment to a

Relationship Stressor,” by Vicki Helgeson.142

A study of college students in LDRs and how their beliefs about themselves,

and their relationships, impact their ability to cope with the separation. A good

study to show the utility of positive attitude.

“Needs, Coping Strategies, and Coping Outcomes Associated with Long-

Distance Relationships,” by Paul Holt and Gerald Stone.18

Astudy of college students in LDRs that tries to look at the differences between

visualizers and verbalizers. There are a few problems with the study design (that I

discussed in the text) but this is still one of earliest studies on students in LDRs.

“Coping with Moral Commitment to Long-Distance Dating Relationships,”

by John Lydon, Tamarha Pierce, and Shannon O’Regan.143

Asomewhat technical article examining types of commitment in relationships

that are undergoing the stress of geographical separation.

“The Medical-Student Spouse Syndrome: Grief Reactions to the Clinical

Years,” by David Robinson.144

Adiscussion of the emotional processes that occur when one partner becomes

intensely committed to work at the expense of the relationship. Although not technically

examining LDRs, this paper describes several of the common reactions to

separation.

“Factors Associated with Relationship Stability in Geographically Separated

Couples,” by Andrew Schwebel, Ryan Dunn, Barry Moss, and Maureena

Renner.82

A study of 89 college freshmen in LDRs examining how intimacy, satisfaction,

self-esteem, frequency of contact, and other variables interact.

“Communication and Interdependence in Geographically Separated Relationships,”

by Timothy Stephen.15

An interesting study looking at university LDRs as a test of a theory of relationship

dynamics. Much of the information is technical, but the author describes

a great deal of information about separated couples that may prove helpful.

“Idealization and Communication in Long-Distance Premarital Relationships,”

by Laura Stafford and James Reske.5

A fascinating examination of the process of unrealistic expectations within

LDRs.

“Physical Distance and Interpersonal Characteristics in College Students’

Romantic Relationships,” by Roger Van Horn and Colleagues.4

This study, comparing roughly 80 people in LDRs to 80 people in geographically

close relationships, found that the two are more similar than different. Anice

review and discussion.

“Coping with Long-Distance Relationships,” by John Westefeld and

Debora Liddell.145

A very brief discussion of the author’s experience with a mini-workshop for

college students in LDRs.

“Communicative Strategies Used to Terminate Romantic Relationships,”

by William Wilmot, Donald Carbaugh, and Leslie Baxter.85

These researchers wanted to study the process that occurs during relationships

that end, so they chose LDRs, thinking they would break up more so than

others. A somewhat technical paper, but still important given the dearth of research

available.

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Military Separations

“Depression in the Wives of Nuclear Submarine Personnel,” by Karen

Beckman, Anthony Marsella, and Ruth Finney.146

One of a handful of studies looking at the wives of Navy submariners, who are

a somewhat unique type of LDR, given the long-stretches with very little contact.

“The Returning Veteran Syndrome,” by Douglas Bey.111

A psychiatrist discusses the symptoms related to wartime reunion. A slightly

less technical article than many, with a psychodynamic bent.

“Personal Transitions and Interpersonal Communication Among Submariners’Wives,”

by Kathleen Boynton and W. Barnett Pearce.147

An excellent, although somewhat outdated, review of separation in general,

and the additional stress that comes with submarine deployment.

“Waiting Wives: Women Under Stress,” by Douglas Bey and Jean Lange.65

This paper discusses the normal range of reactions that the wives of servicemen

report during their separations. Most of these are applicable to nonmilitary

LDRs as well.

“Family Readjustment of Veterans,” by John Cuber.112

A post–World War II article discussing the problems of reunion.

“Coping with Sea Duty: Problems Encountered and Resources Utilized

During Periods of Family Separation,” by Kathryn Decker.36

A fairly extensive review of Navy families separated during non-wartime

deployments.

“Navy Families in Distress,” by William Dickerson and Ransom Arthur.37

An older article discussing Navy separations.

“Persian Gulf Sojourn: Stereotypes of Family Separation,” by Richard

Dukes and Janice Naylor.148

A study of how society perceives separation. Participants describe how they

would react to several different vignettes. The only study of this kind to date. Very

interesting with regards to the stereotypes that those in LDRs face.

“Loneliness and the Serviceman’s Wife,” by Evelyn Duvall.35

AWorld War II article that still is pertinent to many military separations.

“The Psychological Adjustments of Returned Servicemen and Their Families,”

by Coleman Griffith.149

Another post–World War II paper discussing the difficulties of reunion.

“Families of Prisoners of War Held in Vietnam: A Seven-Year Study,” by

Edna Hunter.51

This study focuses on families in crises examining the emotional processes

and coping techniques over 7 years. Although it’s based on a very specific type of

LDR, many of the conclusions are applicable to all.

Families Under Stress, by Rubin Hill.45

An extremely detailed early study of families separated due to World War II.

“The Submariners’Wives Syndrome,” by Richard Isay.150

One of the earlier studies that looked at the range of severe depression and

anxiety connected with wives separated from their husbands on submarines.

“American Families and the Vietnam War,” by E. James Lieberman.151

Adetailed discussion of the impact of wartime separation on military families.

“The Returned Prisoner of War: Factors in Family Reintegration,” by

Hamilton McCubbin, Barbara Dahl, Gary Lester, and Beverly Ross.152

An in-depth study, by this prolific research group, of families trying to adjust

after prolonged separation.

“Coping Repertoires of Families Adapting to Prolonged War-Induced

Separations,” by Hamilton McCubbin, Barbara Dahl, Gary Lester, Dorothy

Benson, and Marilyn Robertson.153

Another well-done study by McCubbin’s group looking at styles of coping

with catastrophic war-related separation.

“Adaptation of the Family to the POW/MIA Experience: An Overview,” by

Hamilton McCubbin, Edna Hunter, and Philip Meters, Jr.154

Adetailed study of over 200 families dealing with prolonged separation from

military family members. There is a great deal of information about symptoms

during separation, how people coped with the stress, and wives’ perceptions of

their marriages.

“Family Separation in the Army: AStudy of the Problems Encountered and

the Care Taking Resources Used by Career Army Families Undergoing Military

Separations,” by Frank Montalvo.40

Another good review of the issues facing military couples during separation.

“Prolonged Family Separation in the Military: A Longitudinal Study,” by

Hamilton McCubbin and Barbara Dahl.155

A review of military separations focusing on changes over time as the family

and couple adapts to the distance and reunion.

“Separation Problems in Military Wives,” by Houston MacIntosh.24

An early study of psychiatric symptoms in military wives separated from

their husbands.

“The Families of U.S. Navy Prisoners of War from Vietnam Five Years after

Reunion,” by D. Stephen Nice, Barbara McDonald, and Tom McMillian.156

A fascinating study of couples as they attempt to adjust to reunion. This has

one of the longest periods of observation, looking five years after the separation

had ended.

“World War II and Divorce: A Life Course Perspective,” by Eliza Pavalko

and Glen Elder, Jr.120

A well-designed study examining the effect of World War II on marriages

looking at several factors and following the relationships over time.

“Separation Reactions of Married Women,” by Chester Pearlman, Jr.28

Apsychiatrist discusses his experience with 485 women separated from their

military partners.

“Social Support, Family Separation, and Well-Being Among Military

Wives,” by Leora Rosen and Linda Moghadam.39

A large study examining military couples and the role of social support during

separations.

“Stressors, Stress Mediators, and Emotional Well-Being Among Spouses of

Soldiers Deployed to the Persian Gulf During Operation Desert Shield/Storm,”

by Leora Rosen, Joel Teitelbaum, and David Westhuis.44

Astudy of 981 families of Gulf War veterans exploring issues related to military

separation. Avery important piece of research showing the critical importance

of social support.

“Marital Adjustment of Army Spouses One Year After Operation Desert

Storm,” by Leora Rosen, Doris Durand, David Westhuis, and Joel Teitelbaum.157

Alarge study of families of GulfWar veterans andhowthey coped with reunion.

Also includes a good discussion of the literature on military separation and reunion.

“The Dynamics of Grief of Wives and Families of Military Personnel Missing

in Action,” by Ludwig Spolyar.158

A psychologist discusses the emotional processes of wives dealing not only

with separation, but also the uncertainty associated with a husband missing in

action.

“The Homecomer,” by Alfred Schuetz.159

Written in 1945, this discussion makes excellent reading, and provides great

material to discuss with your partner prior to or just after reunion from deployment.

“Intensive Case Studies of Attachment Utilizing a Naturally-Occurring

Separation in Marital Relationships (Doctoral Thesis),” by Stephen Stratton.27

A difficult to find thesis (write to Auburn University) that interviews five

Army wives about their coping with separation. The material highlights several of

the concepts I discussed in this book and reads very well.

“Children’s Single-Session Briefings: Group Work with Military Families

Experiencing Parents’ Deployment,” by Jane Waldron, Ronaele Whittington,

and Steve Jensen.106

A rare look at methods of integrating children into coping strategies during

deployments.

“Marital Satisfaction, Job Satisfaction, and Retention in the Army,” by

John Woelfel and Joel Savell.12

A somewhat technical article looking at how separation impacts career satisfaction

in the military.

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Cumulative Citations (References)